4 Ways Cooking with Your Spouse Can Help Your Marriage


cooking with your spouse

Marriage would be so easy if life didn’t get in the way. You’re tired, talked out, touched out, and at the end of the day, you just want to veg out on the couch alone and watch some TV before falling asleep and repeating it all tomorrow. Your husband is more like a roommate, a friend, or perhaps even a friend with benefits. But internally, you know something is missing.

If you suspect that you’ve hit one of those rough patches in your marriage, consider this one habit that changed my marriage for the better.

Cooking with Your Spouse

Have you thought about the benefits of cooking together? It’s a small detail, but it’s been a game-changer for us for a few reasons.

1. It gives you a singular task to accomplish together.

Usually, husbands and wives have their separate tasks to complete. A husband might go out to mow the lawn while his wife is inside making a grocery list. That tends to be the most efficient way to get household duties accomplished, but cooking together is not about efficiency; it’s about connecting.

2. Cooking together creates an opportunity for deep conversation.

The first time might feel a little clumsy, especially if one of you normally runs the kitchen. You might struggle to learn whose job is whose. But once you’ve cooked together a few times, it will feel more comfortable and you’ll be able to relax and talk. And if you want, you can send the kids to bed early and use it as an opportunity to have those deep conversations that keep getting interrupted when the kids are around.

3. Cooking with your spouse allows you to cooperate.

You don’t need to be a good cook to help make dinner. Even if one of you barely can manage a salad, there are plenty of ways to help in the kitchen. While one person prepares the main course, the other might be responsible for setting the table, pouring drinks, or preparing a side dish. Cooking together is a great way to acknowledge and celebrate your strengths and weaknesses in the kitchen (and as a couple).

4. Cooking with your spouse allows children to see their parents working together.

I’ll be honest⁠—we’ve never done this in our house. Dinner with the kids tends to be more of a divide-and-conquer kind of activity. But once your kids are more independent, they will learn a lot by watching mom and dad cooperate in the kitchen. They’ll witness good manners, patience, and most importantly, that their parents enjoy being around each other. Cooking together can be a physical reminder that you can create some incredible things when you and your husband work together. 

Other than cooking, what are some other ways you and your husband connect?

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